In September of this year, the church I attend began a weekly prayer hour simply named “Wednesday Campus Prayer”. The week that it was announced, my husband and I had missed service, so I didn’t know it was a thing until the following week when my Circle Leader mentioned something about it. I was intrigued… one hour, once a week at the most inconvenient time possible?? What could it hurt?
As I prepared myself to attend my first campus prayer, I found myself feeling overwhelmed. What if no one speaks to me? What if I am the only one who shows up? Ten minutes early? Right on time? Five minutes late? What was even the proper protocol for arriving?
I nearly psyched myself out with just these thoughts. What if though? What if it was more than I had ever expected? What if it changed my life? What if one hour became not just the norm or a box a check but rather it was a sacred sacrifice in which lives for where changed, my life changed?
The next few weeks are a blur. I attended each campus prayer diligently and could feel the power of the Holy Spirit working something new in me. I began to learn the names of people I had seen at church yet had never spoken to. I began to get there early just for the hugs from and fellowship with other believers. I looked forward to it!
Then on October 7th, we started the our with a simple song of worship “We Invite You In” by Valley Creek Worship.
That day something broke. I could feel the tears as I wrote “God, I need a breakthrough. I am breaking. It hurts but broken things are still beautiful. Give me the strength and guidance to walk the path you have set before me. Not seeing the reason or purpose for all that is going on in my life is driving me insane. I do not think clearly. I feel lost. I feel alone. I am overwhelmed. JESUS overwhelm me with YOU. Overwhelm me with your love. With your presence. JESUS YOU ARE WELCOME HERE!”
In that moment, I knew I had been trying to do it on my own for far to long. I had lost sight of God. I had lost sight of his goodness and grace. I had let the voices that said “You are not enough”, “You will never change”, “You are not worthy”, “You are unlovable”, “You constantly fail”, “It will always be this way” and so on win. I had set my identity in how man sees me, not in how God does.
- 2 Corinthians 12:9 says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (I am not enough but HE is)
- John 3:16 says “For God so loved the World (Kerrie) that he gave his one and only Son, that who shall ever believe in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” (I am loved)
- Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future’.” (God wants me to succeed. I am not failing if I am living within his will and purpose)
- Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.” (Everything is possible)
I leave you today with this one thought: “Be careful who you listen to”.
Leave a Reply